Looking to Be More Involved in Your Child’s Therapy?

Looking for ways to become more involved in your child’s therapy? Look no further! There is no “wrong” way to become involved. Just by trying you will make a difference. Here are some ways to get you going;

1.     Try some therapy on the go.

a.     It can be overwhelming to think about working on goals when it feels like you have a million things to do, but in reality, that is the perfect time to practice. Why? Because your child does not live in the therapy room! When you work on goals in the real world, it helps them take the skills they learned in therapy and apply them to real life.

                                               i.     Example: Working on following directions? Bring your child to the grocery store when you need to pick up a few things. Try prompting them with directions such as “Pick up the Oreos and hand them to me”, or “Grab the pack of napkins, then the plastic forks, and put them in the cart”. Practice makes perfect, plus the kids will feel like they are helping you.

                                             ii.     Example: Working on using longer sentences? Bring your child to go holiday shopping with you. If they see something they like, have them tell you about it when they get home. Bonus: You can go back later and get something that caught their eye, takes some of the guesswork out of gifts.

                                           iii.     Example: Working on taking turns? When you are driving with your child in the car, take turns pointing out different road signs or colors you see while you drive.  

2.     Build therapy into day-to-day routines. 

a.     Brainstorm ways you can incorporate therapy into your daily routines. The structure of a routine is a great platform for therapy, and once you work on goals within a routine a few times, it will become an expected part of the routine itself.

                                               i.     Example: Working on reading comprehension? When you read a bedtime story to your child, ask questions throughout. Talk about the beginning, the middle, and the end. Have the child answer wh-questions or predict what is going to happen next. This is activity that has a lot of room for working on a lot of goals.

                                             ii.     Example: Working on asking questions? Play a “conversation starter” game at dinner. Take turns asking each other questions. Don’t give too much information though, give your child space to ask follow-up questions such as “why?” or “what is that?” or “who is ___?”. This is a structured way to practice natural conversation, and it’s fun too.

3.     Keep the SLP in the loop.

a.     A great way to get involved with your child’s therapy is to keep track of their communication throughout the week. If you hear something that is interesting, write it down! The more information the speech-language pathologists (SLPs) have, the better we can tailor their therapy.

b.     Let us know about exciting activities that are coming up or that have happened. This gives the SLP conversation starters for the child that allow us to work on a variety of goals such as giving details, descriptions, recall, and more. 

c.     What are your communication concerns? If something comes up, tell the SLP about it. It is always helpful to have a lot of information so we can make sure therapy goals stay relevant to your child. 

These are just a few ways you can become involved in your child’s therapy. Find what works for you and stick with it! No matter what you do, consistency is key. 

Kara Cotter

Practice! Practice! Practice! Part 2

I hope you and your child enjoyed the activities from Part 1!  Here are some more ideas of games and activities you can do together to work on your child’s speech and language skills. Have fun!

Home

1. Cook a dish

   1. Articulation

      1. Target sounds:Ask your child to practice saying different ingredients and directions that contain target sounds

   2.  Language

      1. Following/Giving directions:Help your child practice following directions by following an instruction read to them. He/She can practice giving directions by instructing how to do each step

      2. Sequencing:Help your child practice his/her sequencing skills by performing each step in order

      3. Expanding utterances:Ask your child to describe each step in the directions, what the item/food looks like, what the item/food tastes like, etc.

   3. Social skills - You and you child can role-play being at a restaurant. You both can take turns being the customer and waiter. 

      1. Greetings:As the waiter, your child can practice initiating greetings to the customer (you). If your child is the customer, he/she can practice responding and asking reciprocal questions back to the waiter (you).

      2. Asking/Answering questions:As the waiter, your child can practice asking questions when taking your order (e.g., “What would you like to eat/drink?”, “Would you like anything else?”). As the customer, your child can practice making choices and answering questions

      3. Turn taking: As both the waiter and customer, encourage your child to take turns with you during the communicative exchange.

   4.  Literacy

      1. Reading: Ask your child to read the cooking instructions out loud to you.

      2. Spelling: Ask your child to spell some of the words that you read to them

Car

1.  Play a car game 

   1. I Spy- Each player takes turns giving a clue about an item he/she sees. The other players must guess what it is.

   2. ABC imaginary traveler- Each player takes turns imagining where they might go and what item they will bring. Begin with the letter “a” and continue through the alphabet (e.g., I’m going to Antarctica and I’m taking my art supplies.”)

      1. Articulation

         1. Target sounds:Ask your child to practice saying the words that contain target sounds

      2.  Language

         1. Expanding utterances:Help your child expand their utterances with each of their responses. 

         2. Describing

            1. I Spy: Ask your child to describe and give salient clues of their chosen item.

         3. Interpreting Verbal Information 

            1.  I Spy: Your child will practice interpreting verbal information by listening to your clues, putting them together, and guessing the item

         4.  Recalling information:

            1. ABC: Ask your child to recall what the previous answers were before each round.

         5. Following/Giving directions: Help your child practice following directions by following the rules of the game. You can help your child practice giving directions by having them tell you and others what to do. 

      3. Social Skills

         1. Turn taking: Encourage your child to invite other players to take their turn

Grocery Store

1. Shopping for groceries

   1. Articulation

      1. Target sounds:Encourage your child to name different items in the shopping cart or on the shelves using their target sounds

   2.  Language

      1.  Categorizing:Help your child practice categorizing the items in the cart (e.g., fruit, breakfast items, condiments.

      2. Locatives:Ask your child to describe where an item is located on the shelf using locatives (e.g., on, in, under)

      3. Describing:Ask your child to describe and give salient clues of a desired item to you so you can guess which item your child is talking about. This can be revered, so you give your child the clues of the next item to look for and the child must guess

   3. Social Skills

      1. Asking questions:Encourage your child to ask a worker where a particular item is locates in the store.

      2. Greetings: Ask your child to initiate greetings with the cashier

   4. Literacy

      1. Spelling:Keep a shopping list on the refrigerator. Ask your child to write an item on the list when they want something from the grocery store

References

Kristi, Jenae, Thea, Jenae, Venkatesh, Jennyanreyne, . . . Alexandra. (2014, July 23). Activities      for When Kids Have to Wait. Retrieved July 30, 2019, from      https://www.icanteachmychild.com/activities-for-when-kids-have-to-wait/

Guest Blogger: Rachel Hemphill

Practice! Practice! Practice! Part 1

Everybody knows the saying “practice makes perfect”.  If your child plays a sport or musical instrument, he/she is likely required to commit a certain amount of time practicing their skills during the week.  In academic settings, practice comes in the form of homework. Teachers want their students to put in extra work outside of the classroom to sharpen the skills they learned in the classroom. 

The same is true for speech and language skills.  No matter how much formal speech and language therapy your child receives a week, it is still a relatively small amount of time to devote to such a critical life skill as learning to communicate effectively.  For a child to make substantial progress in his speech and language skills, he/she must practice those skills outside the therapy room. 

That’s where you, the parent or caregiver, come in.  

You are your child’s number one communication partner. Because you are one of the people who communicates consistently with your child throughout the week, you have a unique opportunity to significantly impact your child’s communicative progress. You can do this by helping your child reinforce the speech and language skills he/she is learning in therapy by practicing those skills with them at home or while you’re out running errands. 

Not only will working on your child’s speech and language skills give him/her more repetitive practice, it will also help with what is called the “generalization” of skills. This is the main goal of your child’s speech-language therapist.  Generalization is the process of taking a skill learned in one setting (e.g., therapy) and applying it in other settings (e.g., home, school) (Fouse & Wheeler, 1997). By practicing the speech and language skills with your child when you’re at home or in the community, your child will become better equipped at using these skills in a variety of settings.

If you’re thinking that this sounds like a tedious and burdensome task for you and your child, don’t worry!  There are many creative games and activities you can do with your child to make this a fun and enjoyable activity for both of you to do together.

Here are some ideas of fun and functional activities you can do with your child to practice their speech and language skills outside the therapy room.  These can be done when you’re at home or while you’re driving in a car together:

 Home

1)    Read a book together – consider taking turns reading pages

• Articulation 

  • Target sounds:  Help your child practice saying words that contain target sounds.

• Language

  • Comprehension questions:Ask your child comprehension questions as you read the story together.

  • Making Predictions:  Ask your child what they believe will happen next in the story.

  •  Expanding vocabulary:Ask your child if they can figure out what an unfamiliar word means based on the story. Try to use that new word throughout the week.

  • Identify the main idea:Can your child tell you the main concept of the story without recounting the minor details?

  • Describing/locatives: As you read the story together, ask your child to describe where an object appears in the picture using locatives (“in”, “on”, “under”, etc.).

• Social Skills

  • Taking other’s perspectives: To help your child practice learning to take other’s perspectives, ask your what he/she thinks the characters are thinking and feeling as you read together.

•  Literacy

  •   Reading: Your child can practice their reading skills while reading the story to you.

2)    Play a game

• Articulation 

  • Target sounds:Your child can practice saying different words that contain target sounds. This can be done with words in the game or you can ask your child to practice saying a few words before each turn.

•  Language 

  • Following/Giving directions:Help your child practice following directions by following the rules of the game. You can help your child practice giving directions by having them tell you and others what to do. 

  • Expanding utterances:By asking your child to describe what’s going on during the game you will help your child practice expanding their utterances.

• Social Skills

  • Turn taking:Encourage your child to invite other players to take their turn.

  • Losing: Don’t purposely let your child win every game. Instead, model and encourage good gamesmanship.

  I hope you and your child have a great time doing these together.  For more activities and games, look for Part 2 next week!

-Rachel

References

Fouse, B., and Wheeler, M. (1997). A treasure chest of behavioral strategies for individuals with autism. Arlington, TX: Future Horizons.

Manager. (2019, July 08). 10 Ways To Practice Speech At Home This Summer. Retrieved from     https://therapytravelers.com/10-ways-to-practice-speech-at-home-this-summer/

Social Skills During the Summer Months

This is a guest post from one of our summer speech language pathology interns>

Summer is such an exciting and busy time for everyone. Children are ready to play - and parents are too. So, what happens to those social skills you and your child have been working so hardon over the school year? Don’t fret! There is no need to focus on “work” during summer vacation. Here are some fun social activities that focus on “play”. 

Make a Summer Treat 

●     Working in the kitchen with your child is such a great place to share perspectives, talk about your days, and enjoy each other’s company. 

●     Following recipes helps build skills associated with understanding directions, asking questions, and requesting help

●     BONUS: If it’s nice outside - pack up and head out to your favorite park (or even your backyard) and enjoy a picnic.

Long Vacation?

●     Summer Postcards

○     A great way to practice a multitude of skills (social skills, language skills, handwriting, etc.) is to have your child write postcards to themselves while on vacation. Throughout the week, help your child to identify their favorite activities of the day or something they want to remember about their trip. Have them write on a postcard, “Dear Me,” and mail it home. Not only is it expanding skills, it’s something to look forward to even though your vacation is over.

●     Long Drives 

○     Are you dreading how many times you’ll hear the infamous “are we there yet?” from the backseat? Here are some of my all-time favorite car ride games to avoid those questions while still working on language skills:

■     I Spy: Take turns saying “I spy with my little eye something…” and fill in with a characteristic of an object that is visible. This game is a wonderful opportunity to have children use elaborative skills (shapes, colors, uses, etc) without giving away the actual term/object they are referencing. 

■     ABC Game:Find words on billboards or road signs that start with each letter of the alphabet. You can’t move onto the next letter until you’ve found a word.

●     PS: Good Luck with Q, X and Z! 

■     License Plate Game: This game is a great chance for perspective taking. The challenge is to find the license plate from the farthest state. Talk about the different License Plates you see, and how far away that car must have traveled to be where they are now. It’s fun and easy to make guesses about where they are going, and why.

Rainy Day? 

●     Cuddle up with a movie or a book. Watching movies isn’t the most active way to pass time during the summer months, but it’s a great opportunity for conversations when everyone needs some down time. It’s an awesome way to incorporate their language goals into an activity that they enjoy: 

○     Discuss after: 

■     Social Language & Perspective Taking: Have everyone identify their favorite parts and explain why they liked them. Comparing those parts can help with perspective taking and increase social language at the same time.

■     Elements of a Story (aka Story Grammar): Have them come up with an alternative ending. Let them use their imaginations to end the movie how they would want. 

■     Making Predictions: Occasionally pause the movie or stop reading, and have your child predict what might happen. At the end of the movie or book, ask your child if they think there will be a sequel. If so, what do they think it would be about?

○     Another great way to use movies to practice language skills is to find a movie based off of a book. Read the book and watch the movie together - this sets up the perfect “Compare & Contrast” activity.

Read, Read, Read 

●     Book Club

○     Does your child love to read? Creating a book club with your child’s friends is a great opportunity to get your child to meet up with friends over summer. You can read the book to the group, or everyone can take turns reading if they are comfortable doing so. Be prepared with some discussion questions to initiate conversations. 

These are all great ways to incorporate expansion of social language skills into activities you will most likely already be doing this summer. Get creative!

Katharyn Bannar

ASHA Connect Conference Part 3

The following are excerpts from our notes on a class on executive functions presented by Karole Howland of Boston University:

Developing Executive Functions in Young Students with Language Impairment

·      Executive functions:  The ability to maintain an appropriate problem solving set for attainment of a future goal.

·      Impact of Deficits in EF:

o  EF skills in preschool predict academic success

o  Children with poor EF skills are at risk for social/behavioral problems

o  EF skills are essential to the development of theory of mind

·      We cannot afford to wait until middle school to work on EF

·      Behavioral intervention often assumes the issues are based on a cognitive choice to misbehave, rather than behavior problems that need to be managed.  We need to think of executive functions as skills  that need to be developed 

·      Inhibition:  

o  Closely related to emotional regulation in preschoolers

o  Inhibition is hard work! 

o  Some types of inhibition:

§  Delay of gratification  

§  Emotional self-regulation 

§  Resisting distraction  

§  Conflicting action  

·      Cognitive Flexibility: 

o  The ability to change or adapt plans as circumstances demand

o  Requires recognition of the need for change

o  Requires the ability to inhibit the original action in favor of a new response

·      Planning:

o  Requires a future image-what is the goal? 

o  Requires a high degree of inhibition 

o  Requires working memory 

·      Teacher Ratings are more effective than formal testing to diagnose EF

·      Spoken Language Characteristics of Children with EF disorders

o  Disorganized and Tangential: Leaves out or mis-sequences steps, goes off topic. Vague references lead to confusion.

o  Uses verbal mazes as a result of word-finding and planning problems.

o  Excessive detail about minor points.

o  Insufficient detail about major points

o  Overproduction: Talks much but communicates little  

o  Underproduction: Planning demands are too high, shrugs, gestures, shuts down 

ASHA Connect 2018 Conference Part 2

These are our notes from the session Facilitating Social Communication in Children with Language Disorders: How to Drink from a Fire Hydrant (Martin Fujiki).  The main argument of the session was that language processing, social and emotional learning, and pragmatics can and should be addressed together through therapy tasks, especially through book sharing.

·      “Social communication is the use of language in social contexts.  It encompasses social interaction, social cognition, pragmatics, and language processing.”  (ASHA Practice Portal).

Many children with developmental learning disabilities (DLD) share these social outcomes: 

§  Poor friendships 

§  Victimized by peers

§  Poor peer acceptance 

§  Poor self-esteem 

§  High levels of anxiety 

§  High levels of depression 

§  High levels of social withdrawal 

§  High levels of problem behavior 

Emotional Intelligence in  Children with DLD:  

§  Difficulty regulating emotions  

§  Difficulty identifying emotion expressed vocally 

§  Difficulty identifying emotion on faces

§  Difficulty inferring emotions that individuals feel within a particular context

§  Difficulty hiding emotions for social reasons  

The second part of the session was titled Lab: Facilitating Social Communication –When Rubber Meets the Road (Martin Fujiki)

·      From the Perspective of a child with DLD: 

o  Books are hard work 

o  Language is hard work  

o  Emotion knowledge is hard work 

o  Books have mostly been NO FUN!

I WANT TO BELONG! HOW CAN I BE A PART OF THE GROUP?

“They won’t let me play!” “They are all mean to me!” “They are playing dumb games!” “They are all stupid!”  “I don’t want to play with them, anyway!” These are the types of statements I have heard clients using when they really want to be a part of group activities but are unable to figure out how to do so. 

Knowing how to join a group is an important skill both in social and academic situations.  It is important to be able to start basic conversations as LeeAnne talked about in her last blog.  If someone does not know how to start conversations or carry on conversations with peers, the ability to engage with peers in group situations will be a challenge.  Once people are able to relate to individuals, participating in groups becomes a bit easier as they have already acquired some of the basic skills needed to relate to people on a one-to-one basis.  As I’ve mentioned before, however, the group dynamics add “layers” to the interactions as they require the ability to interact with each of the individuals along with knowing how to deal with the interactions between all of the other group participants. What a challenge!    

Making an informed decision about a type of group to join is very important.  What kinds of groups should be considered? 

Which types of groups may be appropriate? 

·       Small or large groups?

·       Large groups?

·       Clubs?

·       Teams?

·       Classes?

·       Peer-led or adult-led?

·       Structured or unstructured?

·       Groups with familiar or unfamiliar peers?

What kinds of activities should be considered?

·       Is there familiarity with the activity or the topic? If there is no or limited familiarity, it would be helpful to gain more knowledge.  

·       Is the activity of interest? If there is no interest, finding another group would make it easier to learn more and engage. 

·       How structured is the activity? More structured activities could be easier to engage in as there is less variability in the interactions.    

·       Is there a knowledge/understanding of the rules and expectations?  If the group is engaging in games or sports, understanding the rules and how aspects could vary is extremely important.  With groups of peers that are just “hanging out”, it is important to be aware of the group dynamics and expectations such as:

o   Appropriate topics to discuss

o   Group hierarchies

o   Common interests and experiences

o   How to dress to fit in rather than stand out

How many participants are in the group? Larger groups would be harder to navigate (depending on the activity) as mentioned above due to the complexities of relationships and interactions.   

Does the group seem open to having others join in?  Recognizing and interpreting the body language of the people in the group can give important clues as to whether there would be acceptance of someone else joining. 

Do the people in the group reflect our own values?  If people have different religious, political values, or ways of treating/interacting with others, it may affect our success in the group.

After choosing an appropriate group, what are some things to do to get to be a part of the group? In addition to considering some of the things that were mentioned above, these are some other things that can be done: 

·       Try to engage individually with someone who seems friendly and open so there is at least a connection to someone in the group

·       Observe the group while showing interest in what the group is doing.  This could include making positive comments about what people are doing, complimenting people in the group, cheering people on, and possibly asking questions (at appropriate times) to find out more about the activity or topic.

·       Use body language that indicates that you want to be a part of the group.   Upright posture that looks self-assured without being unusual along with using eye gaze/contact will demonstrate confidence and interest.  Using a friendly expression along with a clear voice and message will also help demonstrate your interest.

·       Determine some things you may have in common with others in the group

·       Do some research about the activity or topic

·       Develop a variety of interests and be open to trying new things

·       Practice skills in familiar, comfortable situations such as with family members or other comfortable peers.   Family conversations during meals, weekly meetings, while in the car, etc. can be great times to practice the language and interaction skills needed to become a part of groups. Engaging in board games and outdoor games/activities will help us to understand how to play, take turns, listen, deal with rules, become a good sport (being able to deal with not being the “best” or even losing are important skills!) and interact appropriately.    

·       Wait for a break in the activities or conversation to try to join.  This may be by asking to join or play or by asking questions or making comments to show interest.  

·       Be willing to accept if you are not accepted in the group at a particular time.  Think of reasons someone may be kept from joining in a group activity:

o   Issues that have occurred between you and the group or someone in the group previously

o   There may already be enough participants for the game or task

o   The skill-level of the group may be different than your skill level

o   The group may already be a team

o   The group may be close-knit and are not willing to accept someone else to join them.  (A clique?)

o   Your language (both verbal and non-verbal) may be sending a different message than you intend to send

As Winnie-the-Pooh said, “You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.  You have to go to them sometimes.”  Joining a group often takes some detective work in order to be successful.  One must be willing to observe, interpret, listen, learn, show flexibility, and …go to them.  Look for my next blog on how to successfully remain part of a group. 

Carol A. Walck, MS, CCC-SLP 

What Is a Friend?

Is a friend someone we just met? Someone who is in our class (even though they don’t speak to us!)? Someone we met a long time ago? Someone we used to play with or hang out with but no longer see? Someone our sibling is friends with?  Someone we play on-line video games with but have never spoken to? Knowing our clients’ definitions of “friend” is often a great place to start when supporting them to develop friendships. 

So, what is a “friend”?  According to Natalie Madorsky Elman, Ph.D and Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D. (The Unwritten Rules of Friendship:  Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends), there are 3 kinds of friends: acquaintances, friends, and close friends. 

            Acquaintances are people you have met, know casually but have not really spent a great deal of time with; however you feel they are nice, and would be someone to get to know better and possibly be friends with.

            A friend is someone you know better than an acquaintance, may occasionally spend time with, and have some things in common with.    

            A close friend is someone you have probably known for a long time, enjoy spending time with more than other people, have spent a lot of time with, and have been to one another’s homes.      

Based on a post that was written by Marc Chernoff (15 Things Real Friends Do Differently, Marc and Angel Hack Life:  Practical Tips for Productive Living, http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/04/23/15-things-real-friends-do-differently/), these are things that “real friends” do differently:

1.    Face problems together

2.    Give what they can to each other because they care; have a ‘give and take’ relationship

3.    Make time for each other because they want to spend time together

4.    Offer each other freedom to do things on their own

5.    Communicate effectively with one another to be able to discuss things that could be a part of the relationship: both positives and negatives

6.    Accept each other for who they are; they do not change who they are or expect anyone else to change

7.    Be genuine with one another;  be honest, open, and aware of each other’s feelings; do not lie or cheat

8.    Compromise with one another

9.    Support each other through changes in your interests, lives, etc.

10. Believe in one another by supporting each other: dreams, hobbies, etc.  Encourage one another

11. Have realistic expectations of their relationship

12. Honor each other through kindness and gratitude

13. Listen to one another

14. Keep promises

15. Stick around for each other

Steven E. Gutstein and Rachel K. Sheely (Relationship Development Intervention with Children, Adolescents, and Adults: Social and Emotional Development Activities for Asperger Syndrome, Autism, PDD and NLD) stated that good friends:

Ø  Demonstrate happiness when they see one another

Ø  Are able to make one another smile and laugh

Ø  Enjoy playing the same things

Ø  Do not try to boss or control each other

Ø  Play fairly without cheating

Ø  Stay engaged in activities rather than walking away

Ø  Demonstrate that people in general are more important than things

Ø  Place their friendship above having to win or get their own way

How does your child define “friend”?  Look for our upcoming blogs about friendships!

Carol A. Walck, MS, CCC-SLP 

How Do I Help My Child Become More "Gritty"?

How Do I Help My Child Become More “Gritty”?

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. – Nelson Mandela

When LeeAnne, Theresa and I attended a Learning & the Brain Conference last spring, we were fortunate enough to have heard Dr. Caroline Miller speak about Getting Grit: How to Embed Passion, Persistence & Awe in Your School. Based on some of Dr. Miller’s suggestions for how teachers and schools can help children, here are some ways you can help your child become grittier:  

·      Help identify passions

o   Help your child figure out what is important to them, things they really love.  People are more willing to work toward things they have chosen rather than things that were chosen for them.  When dealing with academics or less preferred tasks, help your child to see how such accomplishments can related to their passions. 

·      Teach goal-setting & value of hard goals 

o   As LeeAnne stated in her blog on setting goals, setting up appropriate goals that are self-driven, measurable, and important to the individual helps the individual stick to the goals and not give up. Such goals can help motivate your child as they would be working on something that is important to them.  If your child feels the goal is not achievable or important, there is greater chance they will feel defeated and give up. 

o   Help your child set small, measurable goals that can help them to be successful.

o   Ask your child what their goal is for the week or month which will enable you to help your child to turn those goals into S.M.A.R.T. goals so they can see progress they are able to achieve. 

·      Promote process over outcome and teach & reward risk-taking

o   Help your child to realize that the way they approach tasks and work toward them is more important than the outcome.

o   Allowing children to fail and then form a plan to be more successful helps to develop grit (Dr. Angela Duckworth, author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance) as responding to the failure can help them become more determined.

o   Learning to deal with failure and adversity helps us establish more self-control and the ability to work toward a goal

o   Teach your child the acronym: 

FAIL =

·      First

·      Attempt

·      In

·      Learning

o   Debbie Pincus, a family therapist who created the Calm Parent AM/PM, suggests focusing on what your child has done well for activities even though they may have been unsuccessful for other aspects.  She also suggests helping your child to assess what they did to be successful and what they may have done that resulted in errors. Redoing errors (even if it does not change the test scores or the outcomes) can help the child review and learn from mistakes while learning to develop grit.

o   Emphasis on the drive and willingness to keep working and trying rather than the outcome (such as grades) helps children achieve grit.

·      Share stories of overcoming

o   Talk to your child about difficulties you have faced and what you did to overcome those obstacles. 

o   One of Dr. Miller’s techniques for promoting gratitude, self-confidence, and grit is for individuals to identify three hard things that they accomplished each day along with how they were able to do so.  What a great activity to become a part of the daily family dinner conversation or a bedtime routine!  

·      Promote patience—“Not  yet”

o   Help your child to learn to wait for some things rather than needing to have all of their wants/needs immediately.  When children learn to delay gratification, it helps them improve their ability to work toward a goal. 

·      Praise wisely

o   Oftentimes parents feel the more they praise their child, the more it helps their child build self-esteem and confidence, however overly praising children results can backfire, resulting in a dependence on praise from others rather than feeling their own pride in what they achieve.  However, when parents do not praise their children enough, children may feel as though they have not met the expectations of their parents or that their parents do not care what they do, which may result in a lack of motivation.  Children may feel as though they have not met the expectations of their parents or that their parents do not care what they do.  The quality of praise is also important.  Praising your child for their attempts and how hard they have worked is more beneficial than praise for the outcome.  If your child works really hard at a passion or difficult task, focus on their work rather than whether they are the best at the activity.  Your praise of their diligence could encourage them to keep working at their passion and overcome obstacles.    

o   Dr. Judy Willis (a board-certified neurologist who later worked as a classroom teacher) wrote a great article titled, Good Praise, Bad Praise. http://www.parenttoolkit.com/social-and-emotional-development/news/general-parenting/good-praise-bad-praise

·      Mentoring & messages

o   Help your child develop a growth mindset, a topic LeeAnne will be writing about in an upcoming blog.  This includes looking at the positive aspects of things rather than the negatives and approaching things as though they will not be successful (fixed mindset). 

o   Let your child know you will be there to help and support them if they need help rather than just providing the help. This allows your child the opportunity to problem-solve and attempt strategies on their own rather than becoming dependent on you to solve their problems. 

o   If needed, help your child identify obstacles they may need to deal with when working on goals. Rather than just identifying possible obstacles for your child, ask them some leading questions or point out some things they may need to think about in order to problem-solve on their own.

As I wrote my first blog on grit, I talked about the grit shown by Nick Foles, the quarterback of the Eagles, right after the Eagles won the NFL divisional championship.  Today as I’ve been finishing this blog, I have been watching the pregame shows for Super Bowl LII.  There have been many more examples of grit in players and others who have demonstrated “passion and perseverance to their long term goals”, often in spite of adversity and naysayers. Grit is essential in helping your child develop a more positive mindset (which LeeAnne will be talking about in an upcoming blog) and achieve their goals. You can help your child become “grittier”!

Carol A. Walck, MS, CCC-SLP

Client Goals for 2018

A few weeks ago, we posted a blog about setting goals.  Here is a sample of the goals our clients shared with us:

“Get 2 100% tests once a week.” AG

 “Get better at math tests.” CS

“Grow potatoes in my garden.” ND

“Help out more with my family.” DZ

“Show kindness to my family.” TZ

“To become better fit for baseball by biking (1-2 hours per day), squats (30 minutes a day), lifting weights (15 minutes per day), and doing short sprints.”  ER 

“To be better at having conversations with people.” BK

“I want to learn how to make change with money.” RY

“To read 100 books this year.” JK

“To be better at reading.”  DM